Friday, May 11, 2012

Why Make Mothers Feel Even More Guilt?

You've probably seen this cover being passed around Facebook in the past two days. And you may have seen the crazy amount of comments and controversy it's stirred up. I normally leave it to those better equipped with facts and prose to respond, but I want to just say something short and sweet about it...

I breastfed Miles for 6 months before my milk just disappeared. He wasn't gaining weight any more and we had to suppliment. I was a mix of relieved, disappointed, and guilty, yet grateful that we got to breastfeed for any time at all. We don't exactly live in a society that encourages it. I wonder if things would have been different if society did encourage it.

That feeling of guilt, however, is one us moms live with far too much. We always feel guilty about one thing or another that we may or may not be doing right. Why does society feel the need to make moms feel any guilt at all?

If you know anything about me at all you probably know that I do not like to be told what to do. I'm an adult with good morals and good judgement. I try to live my life well and make good decisions for myself and my family. I don't think anyone should have the right to tell me how to live my life (within reason, of course) and I don't think I have the right to tell anyone else how to live their life. If you don't like something I'm doing - don't look. If you don't like gay marriages - don't get gay married! If you don't like 3 year olds breastfeeding - don't breastfeed for that long. One mom making that decision for her child doesn't infringe on YOU in any way. So why on earth would anyone feel the need to make her feel guilty for it.

Moms are already damned if they do and damned if they don't in SO many aspects of motherhood. Why take something pure and innocent and with so many benefits (details on that here) and make it anything more than it needs to be.

To each their own, I say! Let a man and a man get married if they want. Look or don't look if you don't want to. Let mothers nurse till their kid is 3 or 5 even, and if it really bothers you - don't look!! But don't impose your sorded beliefs on anyone just trying to live their life the best they know how. Otherwise, let me open your closet and judge you for every decision you've made and make you feel guilty for it.

(All that said - the best comment I heard on this picture was - "Excuse me young man, may I cut in?" - I can still have a sense of humor, you know... )

1 comment:

  1. Couldn't have said it better! We are a society that has learned to judge rather than to accept. One that encourages competition instead of compassion. Maybe we will someday all evolve beyond that.