Oh writing... I have a love/hate relationship with you. For some reason I love to write and feel drawn to do so. But that pull comes with challenges. I hate to write and never know what to write about.
Then, I write and hate it. I hate what I've written or I am not fully happy with it.
But there's a saying. It's about sleep, but stick with me. Most new moms learn it -- about when they are desperate enough to try sleep-training. Sleep begets sleep. The more your child sleeps (in theory) the more they will want to sleep/need to sleep. "Put them to bed early and they will sleep later." And I feel like writing is similar. The more I write, the more I want to write. The more I write the easier it gets to write. The more I write, the better the odds that something I write isn't going to be crap.
So I just need to force myself.
But it's hard. Life is busy and social media is overwhelming. And sometimes I think-- if social media was a drug - I'd be in rehab like 4/6 times a year. I can never find the right balance and go from too much social media to quitting, to withdraws to overload again. And writing takes a back seat to everything else going on in my life.
But the truth is that I feel better when I write. Everyone needs an outlet of some sort - and for better or worse, writing is mine.
So my May-Years Resolution is to make this outlet my priority. To dedicate to getting my thoughts on the screen in some way or another. Despite any hesitation or reservation of inadequacy.
And I feel like this resolution will come with some much needed re-evaluations of what I want this blog to be... more then a diary/recap of our lives. I want to find a focus or drive. I need an outlet, but I want it to be something interesting. Something that I would want to read.
And that's more of just my ramblings then anything else. But I need to start somewhere.
That's it for now. No focus yet. No promises of what is to come. Just a start. An attempt. And a first step toward... something new and different. And I hope, something good.