Wednesday, November 30, 2011

And... We're Back

I've never quit a job before.  And, well, technically I still haven't.  But not for a lack of trying.  I realized last week that this job is costing me money.  It's a draw salary and commission.  Which means, mostly just commission.  And they just shut down my previous department and moved my team.  Now my draw is less, hours are worse and the leads are horrible.  My heart really does go out to all those who live in FL, NV, CA and WA who's houses have lost HUNDREDS of thousands of dollars worth of equity.  But sadly that means that my calls consist of me telling people they don't qualify for a loan.  Between that and me being out so much with a sick baby (and vacation) I wasn't going to be closing any loans this month.  Anyway... long story short - between daycare, gas, and lunch out every day - it was literally costing me money to go to work.  I told my boss this last week and he said to take some time to be sure.  I really like my boss, I even really like my job (the company is great, I have awesome coworkers who I'm sad to say goodbye too) so I said I'd think about it.  Tony and I talked and decided last night that it really doesn't make sense.

My BIGGEST regret and the absolute HARDEST thing is pulling Miles out of his daycare.  He loves his teacher Ms. Carmen and she LOVES him.  It's so hard to trust your child to someone else all day every day.  And you have to worry about things like "play based learning" and is he eating enough at school and that girl that kept biting him.  But in the end, every day when I dropped Miles off at school and he jumped out of my arms to hug Ms. Carmen and she then ran him over to the window to play, I knew it was okay.  I never once thought about how horrible it would be to have to leave her class.  When we told her she cried.  I will just never be able to thank her enough for loving my son the way she did.  And having to take him away from her (even though he now gets to spend his days with me) is still one of the hardest things. 

So... on another note (let me wipe away the tears)... and go, I have biiiig plans for this staying home gig!  I'm making a schedule, the house is going to stay clean, and we are going to work on the potty training!!  And blogging - check!

This is gonna be great!  :)

And now, to catch up on some pictures!

Thanksgiving prep work!

His best Puss in Boots impersonation!

Sleepy babies

Playing together at Nana and Papa's

He loved this chair!

Nana, Papa - you guys are so funny!
PS - I was TOTALLY kidding about the house staying clean... what am I, crazy?!?!?

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Potty in the Potty

Miles went potty in the potty today!!  Not that I have high hopes or anything, but this is something I've been thinking about starting for a while now.  Most mornings Miles will wake up with a dry (or mostly dry) diaper and then potty about 5 minutes later.  So I've been thinking that if I start VERY slowly by putting him straight on the potty in the mornings and letting him go there for a while he *might* just catch on.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not crazy.  I realize that he will probably be in diapers for some time.  But I figured this would be a good start.

This morning went something like this -- 

Good morning Miles!  Dry diaper, yes!  Lets go to the potty.

Diaper off, sit down, run water, point that thing DOWN for goodness sake, YAYAYAYAY you pottied in the potty!!

Lots of cheering and clapping!!

I tried to show him his potty and he tried to touch it.  Gross.

Then I tried to get his diaper back on and he threw a fit.

And then immediately peed more in it.

All in all, not a bad first try.  Obviously I need to get a book, or some advice, or something!

In the meantime I plan on going straight from waking up to the potty to let him go there as much as possible.  I'm just hoping he enjoys the praise and catches on.  Maybe he will, and maybe he won't, but it's a start! 

Sleepy head

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Asthma & Working Mom Woes

It's hard to believe that this tough kid could have asthma.  I mean look at him, all boy... with bruises and a snotty nose!

I'm having t-shirts made to say "you should see the other baby!"
But, alas, he does.  He's been wheezing and coughing for the past week and the inhaler we tried last week just didn't do the trick.
So when Miles woke up at 3:30 AM Monday morning coughing and wheezing and miserable and didn't go back to sleep until 5 AM I decided to take him back to the Dr.  Her diagnosis is childhood asthma.  My niece and nephew both had it and outgrew it, so it's not a huge deal... but my heart does break for him when he has to take his inhaler and he doesn't really understand and cries... :(

Mostly he is a total champ about it though.  See above picture of my little Batman!

But here is the conundrum -- work.  Agh, work.  Being a working mom and balancing life (ie - house, kids, family time) is one of the hardest things I've ever done.  No matter what I do there is not enough time in the day.  And I don't even know how single parents get it all done.

But being a working mom with a sick kid has to be the worst thing ever.  Miles has been off and on sick a lot more than I expected since I've started working.  Croup, colds, puking, and that allergy to milk have really eaten up my sick time... and then some... and then some more.  And I feel so stupid calling in sick yet AGAIN.  Even though my boss is exceptionally nice about it (not especially happy about it, but nice all the same).  But if I were him I'd fire me.  It's just getting ridiculous.  Especially since I can't seem to manage taking Miles on a Dr. visit and then making it in to the office afterward.  I try, but when Miles falls asleep in my arms coughing and wheezing I just can't force him into the car and back to school.  I have such HUGE guilt weighing on my chest that just screams - hold your sick baby, he is your priority.  But then when I talk to my boss the guilt is almost just as big.  I have a job to do. And since it's commission, I literally cannot afford to be away from it so often. 

And the guilt just never ends.  Wednesday at 11 AM I got a call from Miles' daycare saying that he had a fever and needed to be picked up... and did I mention that Tony is out of town for work this week.  So I had to hang my head in shame as I told my boss that I had to leave work yet again for my sick son.  I mean, at this point I work there less time than Kim Kardashian's marriage lasted!  Okay, not the best social reference (I'm not even sure it made sense) but I really wanted to work that in somewhere...

So, I'm not really sure what my point is here.  I like working.  And I REALLY like working where I do.  But I just can't seem to win.  The guilt is everywhere.  But when it comes down to it, Miles always wins my time.  I just hope my job continues to be okay with it.