Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Worst Idea Ever

Is there a name for the "saw it on Pinterest, tried it, and it sucked" conundrum? Because I am currently trying to drink the worlds worst cup of iced coffee. I'm talking WORST. And I doctored it up like you wouldn't believe = still not drinkable.

Technically I didn't find this on Pinterest, but I did Pin it myself because I was SO excited about it. A new favorite blog (that I've linked to before) posted this link to instructions for awesome iced coffee by the Pioneer Woman. The instructions looked so easy and the iced coffee looked so delicious that I decided to give it a try. That was my first of many mistakes.

First off -- the recipe calls for 2 gallons of water and 1 lb of coffee. Well, go to the store and find me a 1 lb bag of coffee -- and you won't. It doesn't exist. Not at Target anyway. All we could find was a 12 ounce bag or a 24 ounce bag. But 1 lb is 16 ounces. LOTS of searching, lots of mathematical calculations, a little bit of cursing the coffee under my breath and Tony and I decided that we'd buy the 24 ounce bag and figure it out later.

Cut to - us at home trying find anything in the loft big enough for 2 GALLONS of water and 1 LB of coffee. Nada. Nothing. Who has stuff that big? In a loft - not us. Frustration, cursing and annoyance ensue. That's when I made mistake number 2 - pour glass of wine.

We then decide to halve the recipe. DUH! Why'd that decision take us so long? We fill up a pitcher with 8 cups of water and then google "how many cups in a half a pound".

And this is where things got so confusing! Technically 1 lb equals 16 ounces. And 16 ounces equals 2 cups. So 1/2 lb should equal 1 cup. But we take 1 cup out of the 24 ounces coffee bag and it BARELY makes a dent in the 24 ounces. So surely something's wrong. So then we google our hearts out trying to figure out this conundrum. More wine. More googling and somehow we add 4 and 1/2 MORE cups to the 8 cups of water. I'm honestly not sure how it happened. I blame the wine, although I'm sure some website somewhere told me to do it.

Then we leave it to soak for 8 hours.

Cut to Saturday morning (yes, that was how we spent our Friday night - welcome to parenthood!) and I wake up knowing we've done something terribly wrong.

Tony drained most of the coffee grounds and refrigerated the black-coffee-of-death. Once it was cold we tried it. I knew it was going to be bad, yet I was still holding on to hope...

The container on the left hasn't been completely drained of all the grounds, so I'm not sure why I put that in the picture.

Don't be fooled by the beautiful swirly colors in the coffee. It was bad. SO bad that I had to throw my cup down the sink. Tony stubbornly drank his, although I'll never know how he got it down!

So I tried adding water.

Nope still bad.

So I added water, sweetened condensed milk AND half and half. How can anything taste bad with half and half.

This can.

Goodbye coffee... you were a good idea. We tried. We really did.

Anyone know how to measure out 1/2 lb?


  1. I just use a food scale for dry ingredients...I have to have a food scale for making bread anyway :-)

    1. Good idea -- guess I'll be searching for a good/cheap one soon! lol :)

  2. oh no!! I did half the recipe and I'm still drinking on it! I wonder what went wrong :( Probably the wine. haha jk. Wine always helps! But seriously the measuring was pretty ridiculous, I kept checking online too for measuring but somehow mine ended up correct. You probably wont want to try this again but I've got some left if you want to try mine?? I'm sorry it was such a disaster BUT it did make for a very fun blog read!

    1. We are definitely trying again! Just this time no wine until we are done! :) I'm glad yours came out good -- I was wondering!! Maybe you should come over to measure things out for us... lol :)

  3. Yeah, I'm with Jenny. I use a food scale. I have seriously grown to dislike (while still admiring their marketing and business acumen) the Pioneer Woman and Martha Stewart in their recipe wonkiness. It all looks good but ends up seriously screwed up in the end. It's as if they forgot to put in crucial steps or ingredients.